And the Tooga goes to ...

As it always does the Oscar ceremony on Sunday night reminded me how much I loved movies. I don’t get to see as many as I would like now, but over the years I’ve seen thousands, including quite a few at the old Tooga Theater.
I miss that place.
Being a small town theater in the Deep South, the Tooga booked not only high dollar blockbusters like “Patton” and “The Sound of Music” but also a lot of not-so-high dollar genre “classics.”
Following is my version of the Oscars, featuring movies I saw at the Tooga back in those halcyon days (and nights).

Best Supporting Actress
Stella Stevens (The Nutty Professor)
P.J. Soles (Halloween)
Natalie Trundy (Battle for the Planet of the Apes)
Nancy Kovack (Frankie and Johnny)
Susan Sosa (Billy Jack)

Natalie Trundy’s performance as Lisa the Talking Chimpanzee is hard to beat and P.J. Soles gets nekkid, but the winner is …. Susan Sosa, who played the American Indian teen who had the flower dumped on her head by one of the main villains in Billy Jack. Ms. Sosa never acted again.

Best Supporting Actor
Buddy Hackett (The Love Bug)
Nick Castle (Halloween)
Jim Nabors (Stroker Ace)
Alex Rocco (Stanley)
Bert Freed (Billy Jack)

I may be the world’s biggest Buddy Hackett fan and his performance as Tennessee Steinmetz (no kidding) is a dazzler. But the award goes to Bert Freed, for being the the perfect target for Tom Laughlin’s classic boot in the face in Billy Jack. The hero calmly informs Freed’s character that he’s gonna take his right foot and “whop” him right in the face with it and “there’s nothing he can do about it.” And he does. “Whopped” him real good!

Best Actress
Linda Blair (The Exorcist)
Donna Douglass (Frankie and Johnny)
Jamie Lee Curtis (Halloween)
Marilyn Burns (Texas Chainsaw Massacre)
Deloris Taylor (Billy Jack)

Three horror pictures landed nominations for their stars and it looked like they might split the vote. But Linda Blair could not be denied. Any actress who can learn how to rotate her head 360 degrees and throw up on people standing 10 feet away deserves all the awards she can get.

Best Actor
William Marshall (Blacula)
Joe Don Baker (Walking Tall)
Tom Laughlin (Billy Jack)
Jerry Lewis (The Nutty Professor)
Elvis Presley (Frankie and Johnnie)

Four powerhouse stars (and William Marshall) vied for this award and some other fine actors (Donald Pleasence, Dean Jones and Stanley the Rattlesnake) didn’t even make it to the final vote. That’s how tough this category was. This ain’t France, so Jerry Lewis didn’t win and as an actor, Elvis is a very good singer. William Marshall was fine as Blacula; he certainly scared the dickens out of me. Tom Laughlin, thanks to the “whop” scene was a very strong contender, but the sheer genius of Joe Don Baker swinging that big, wooden club and smitin’ hillbilly crooks cannot be denied. The winner … Joe Don Baker.

Best Picture
Walking Tall
Stanley
Battle for the Planet of the Apes
Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Halloween
Billy Jack
The Love Bug
Rollerball
The Nutty Professor
RaceWith the Devil

As with the Academy Awards we have 10 films in the Best Picture category. The competition for this award was fierce and I spent many a sleepless night trying to get it right. Well … one semi-sleepless night. In the end, the zany goings on of Texas Chainsaw Massacre could not be trumped. That was one scary motion picture and I am still psychologically scarred by it. Cool, huh? The winner … The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

Good night, drive safely and remember, the low-budget, blood-drenched, sleazily-titled piece of cinematic garbage of today, could one day be someone’s treasured film classic. Or not.

Jimmy Espy is a writer for The Summerville News. His five favorite movies are Blade Runner, The Wild Bunch, Blazing Saddles, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest and Duck Soup.