Chuckles with Chuck

It Couldn't Happen Here?


It probably isn’t a good idea to show up drunk in court, even if you are a judge. In England, District Judge Esther Cunningham was fined and suspended for six months after she showed up in court drunk. Cunningham was representing her cousin in a dangerous dog case. She reportedly showed up at the hearing staggering around, and forcibly kissed another lawyer, insulted an usher, unleashed a few F-bombs and swore at a prosecutor. She reportedly defended that last action by saying the prosecutor had been “called worse things in his time.”
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La Quinta, Calif., officials are threatening to jail Ageda Camargo if she doesn’t convert one of her home’s bedrooms into a garage. Code enforcement officials insist that bedroom is actually a garage that was illegally converted. Camargo didn’t convert it. It was a bedroom when she bought the house more than 30 years ago. But city officials say that doesn’t make a bit of difference.
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Officials in the Mexican state of Tamaulipas say they want it to be the first bilingual state in Mexico. Starting with the next year, each student in grades one through six will have 40 minutes of English instruction a week. Officials say that speaking English will be necessary in the global economy. Or maybe even in the local economy. The state and federal governments are pumping millions of dollars into the state’s Gulf Coast to attract United States residents who want to visit or live, and officials say residents will have to learn English to deal with those people.
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It took four DUI arrests in one year, but the Prince George’s County, Md., police department finally suspended Lt. Kenneth Parrish. The first time Parrish was arrested, the charges were dropped after the arresting officer did not show up in court. The second time, just five months later, Parrish allegedly ran a roadblock where police were investigating a fatal traffic accident, argued with the officers who tried to arrest him and was Tasered, pepper-sprayed and wrestled to the ground. The prosecutor dropped charges of DUI, reckless driving and willfully disobeying a police officer as part of a plea agreement where Parrish pleaded guilty to driving with a suspended license. Parrish was arrested again two months later after hitting another vehicle. Then three months after his third arrest he was arrested again when officers found him asleep at the wheel of his SUV. He was suspended from the police force that day.
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Three high school girls in Greensburg, Pa., have been charged with manufacturing child pornography. And three high school boys have been charged with possession of child pornography after the girls allegedly took nude or semi-nude photos of themselves on their cell phones and sent them to the boys. If convicted, all six would have to register as sex offenders for at least 10 years.
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In Syke, Germany, firefighters lost all of their trucks after they accidentally burned down their fire station during a training exercise. Firefighters from a neighboring town managed to extinguish the blaze.
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The Los Angeles Police Department told officers not to wear helmets while policing protests against Israel’s military actions in Gaza. They said it might provoke the protesters. Apparently, the protesters were easily provoked since one of them bashed one of the bareheaded officers over the head with a piece of wood.
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In England, the government is paying “food champions” to go door-to-door to teach people about proper serving sizes and what those expiration dates on packaged foods mean. They’ll also be encouraging them to eat more leftovers instead of throwing them out.

Charles Oliver is a staff writer for The Daily Citizen